So, I think I am actually going to get back into updating this blog. I've had kind of a "roller-coaster" year so far, so why not? Being stressed, or constantly "riding an emotional tide" is always the best time to update a blog.
So, let's see here:
The biggest thing on my mind is the fact that my girlfriend left me. We were only together for about four and a half months, but the relationship meant a lot to me. I haven't stopped feeling like shit about the fact that things ended. Not so much the way it ended, but simply because of the fact that something great was put to rest. Part of my mind understands the situation completely, but another part of my mind refuses to believe any of it.
I have started to abandon my thoughts on this matter. As much as it meant to me, it's ultimately not worth stressing over. I have other stuff going on. I have a new car, I still have some awesome friends, I love my job, and my apartment kicks a lot of ass. It really sucks that things played out the way they did, but if the feelings aren't mutual... realistically, it's not worth chasing after it. I've been distressed enough as it is, so now I am focused on being happy again. Life goes on... if she comes back, I will be incredibly happy, but if not... there's nothing I could have done about it anyway.
Here's what I have been happy about:
A)
This week I managed to hit the one-year mark for my current job. I am proud of myself because I have received plenty of great feedback throughout this time. It's so awesome to be working for such a large corporation and knowing that I am one out of only five people that control the IT scene within this company. We manage everything computer-related. I am the ONLY PC Technician within the entire corporation. I work directly under our Network Administrator. It's a pretty awesome job. I have had a couple of days that have been stressful, but overall it's a pretty relaxing job. I get paid well, work with awesome people, and I feel important in this company.
B)
My apartment. This place is three times the size of my former apartment. It also only costs me about $100 more a month. I have my own dedicated internet connection through Comcast with a 20 mb/s line, a large living room, and a cozy bedroom. I recently bought a 10" memory-foam mattress, and the thing works miracles on my back. I have an epic surround system in my living room, and after playing games on my TV with that surround sound... there's almost NO going back to crappy sound. This place is AWESOME, and it's my new home.
C)
New car! I got rid of my Santa Fe... it managed to hit almost 340,000 miles on it. ...that's 90,000 miles further than the Earth from the moon. I now have a 2010 Impreza... it's badass! I love it. So much better with the gas mileage too. My Santa Fe was so worn down that I was starting to spend about $100/week on gas. The Impreza is just shy of $50, and gas prices have gone up significantly since I owned my Santa Fe.
D)
Family. My family is awesome. My parents kick ass, my brothers kick ass, my closest friends... they kick serious ass. My nephew is incredibly smart and turning into quite the character. At four years old, that kid comes up with some pretty clever stuff. He also has the best imagination I have ever seen. He somehow gets me to visualize the superhero scenes that he is acting out. Gotta love it.
Summary:
My girlfriend is gone. ...so what. Yes, I still have incredibly strong feelings for her, and I greatly miss what we had, but I still have plenty of stuff going on for me. I refuse to be unhappy. I'm focused on getting shit done. Since the breakup, I've rearranged my apartment. I didn't originally have a separate living-room and bedroom because I was lacking the furniture for it. I keep shit organized now. I won't let anything bring me down... I sound like I am bragging, but not with this relationship ending. With this relationship ending, I need to focus on what I have going for me. I need to reflect on my life because it allows me to see that things aren't bad... they are just less-great... and I am okay with that now.
Please let me have my pride, and don't judge me for it.
